The last two Akshay Kumar releases have both made an appearance on this here website (Go read the ‘Kambakkht Ishq‘ and ‘Blue‘ recaps).

So when I got up this morning, I had big hopes for ‘De Dana Dan’, which also stars Sunil Shetty and Katrina Kaif. Because there is no way any actor can deliver three spoofworthy movies in a row, right? That’d be like the box office equivalent of Liverpool’s season this year. But alas, about 10 minutes into the movie, I could tell that, like the Scousers, I was, in fact, expecting too much. About 30 minutes into the movie, my brain started the slow process of disintegration into mush. And at the end of the two-and-a-half-something hours the movie lasted, I just wanted a hug.

Forget a short comic, to even say that I could explain the movie in a 10,000-word essay, is like saying that I could explain Schrödinger’s Equations of Quantum Physics as retheorised by Roger Penrose. Nah, that might be exaggerating things a little. Because I’m pretty sure that me summarising Schrödinger’s theory is somewhat possible.