A few years from now, I will look back at this movie and wonder what the weirdest part of this venture was. Was it all the unintentional homoeroticism between Ranveer Singh (playing hairy Bikram) and Arjun Kapoor (as toothy Bala)? Was it the fact that a script this bad got someone like Irrfan Khan (Supercop Satyajeet Sarkar) interested? Or is it that Priyanka Chopra (Love interest Nandini), having been in the industry a decade longer than either of the two heroes, comes off looking more like their aged babysitter than a legit romantic partner person? The correct answer, of course, is all of the above. And we haven’t even talked about the greasy bodiness of it all yet.

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